The other night I realized that I love where I live. Not particularly our actual house, but our neighborhood and the surrounding area. It is wonderful having a neighbohood pool and someone to cut your grass. We have our grocery store, pharmacy, neighborhood bar, blockbuster, starbucks, total wine, a chinese place, a pizza place, a mexican place, a wing place, bonefish, the ABC store, and care-a-lot pet supply all with in WALKING distance.
In case you don't realize how awesome this is for us, let me explain...
Grocery Store: Self-Explanatory
Pharmacy: Visit there at least once a month, every month...
Bar: love sports, non-smoking, and 1.50 drafts!
Blockbuster: We rent movies on the regular
Starbucks: nice hang out and the coffee...when we get a coupon
Total Wine: If you know me...Self-Explantory
Chinese: Favorite kind of take-out
Pizza: Jonathan's overall favorite food
Mexican: One of our two favorite food genres
Wings: Favorite junk food dinner
Bonefish: The other of our two favorite food genres
ABC Store: see answer for Total Wine
Care-a-l0t: Hello!! ARF! and Mackenzie!!!
But wait...it get's better, as you know, I am some what a fitness enthusiast. I never claim to be a healthy eater, but I love to be active! Well I have been comtemplating for a couple months whether I should cancel my gym membership, it's almost $40 a month, and with Jonathan going full-time with ARF!, any places we can cut, we really need to. I really didn't want to because I was afraid I would become a sad and lethargic couch potato. I lost 25 pounds after I gained Gold's and have managed to keep all but 3 or 4 off for the last two years plus! To be honest I was afraid I would become fat again...
Well, as usual, my neighborhood has come to my rescue...within WALKING distance between Care-a-lot and the ABC Store we are getting a Planet Fitness! Instead of paying 40, I will be able to pay 10 dollars monthly and have access 24 hours a day Mon-Fri (and 7-7 Sat and Sun) to a ton of cardio machines and weightlifting machines! Not only that, they have a 'judgement free zone' motto. Their focus is similar to mine, which is, once size does NOT fit all, and a healthy, active life-style, not extreme weight-loss, is the goal. They offer comp. miniature tootsie rolls, free pizza the first mon. of the month, and free bagels the second tue. of the month. Believe or not, because of the low cost, I actually have a tentative agreement from Jonathan to join!! I thought we would have to be millionaires before I saw that happen.
So when I think about the size of our house, and how it would be nice to have more room and a real yard, I also realize how lucky we are, and I'm not ready to grow up to a big-girl house! For once in my life, I'm (gasp!) satisfied!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
RIP John Register
Well it happened, Jonathan's Grandfather died yesterday around 4pm. I had built up a lot of nervous energy as so how Jonathan would react, but I never could have really prepared myself for how he reacted. I expected tears, heartbreak, possibly some anger, but all I got when I got home from work yesterday was a slightly unreciprocated hug and a "I'm fine", with a tone that really meant he was what he said.
As the night wore on Jonathan seemed to get agitated mainly with the dogs, but a little with me. I think he is frustrated because he doesn't know what to do, he wants to be sad, but as he kept saying last night as a repeatedly asked "are you ok?", "It just doesn't feel real". I guess when you haven't experienced it before, it probably doesn't. I was never lucky/unlucky enough to have that feeling. My first experience with death was up close and personal. My family held hands praying around my uncle's bed as he slowly faded, and eventually died. Pretty intense, for a 13 year-old, but it definitely made death real.
I imagine Jonathan will be upset at the funeral, but I also imagined he would have been upset on getting the news, he has still yet to cry, or even show had real sadness. Some might say that's a 'guy thing'. But again my experience has been that I have seen my Brother cry, my Dad cry, and even my Grandfather cry, most of these experiences with close men in my life crying involved the death of a love one.
I guess that is not how everyone expresses the 'sadness' emotion, and I should stop trying to dictate exactly how Jonathan should express it, but something inside me tells me that Jonathan will feel a lot better if he does cry. Just like this blog is cathartic for me, and I think a good cry will be for him, but if Jonathan's history is an indicator I will need some pretty strong onions before that will ever happen.
As the night wore on Jonathan seemed to get agitated mainly with the dogs, but a little with me. I think he is frustrated because he doesn't know what to do, he wants to be sad, but as he kept saying last night as a repeatedly asked "are you ok?", "It just doesn't feel real". I guess when you haven't experienced it before, it probably doesn't. I was never lucky/unlucky enough to have that feeling. My first experience with death was up close and personal. My family held hands praying around my uncle's bed as he slowly faded, and eventually died. Pretty intense, for a 13 year-old, but it definitely made death real.
I imagine Jonathan will be upset at the funeral, but I also imagined he would have been upset on getting the news, he has still yet to cry, or even show had real sadness. Some might say that's a 'guy thing'. But again my experience has been that I have seen my Brother cry, my Dad cry, and even my Grandfather cry, most of these experiences with close men in my life crying involved the death of a love one.
I guess that is not how everyone expresses the 'sadness' emotion, and I should stop trying to dictate exactly how Jonathan should express it, but something inside me tells me that Jonathan will feel a lot better if he does cry. Just like this blog is cathartic for me, and I think a good cry will be for him, but if Jonathan's history is an indicator I will need some pretty strong onions before that will ever happen.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Death
Great title, right? Definitely an uplifting one... People deal with death in so many different ways. Sometimes they get really sad and withdrawn, others grow closer to their family and friends, others get mad and angry, still others experience a number of these emotions throughout the course of 'coping'.
The first time I really experienced Death I was in the 8th Grade, and I was there when my Uncle ultimately lost his 1 year battle with cancer. I remember withdrawing some from my friends, mainly because my boyfriend dumped me because I wasn't 'available'. I have experience death in my life a number of times since then, and have learned to deal with my emotions, and move on, going to the funeral itself always helps me to cope.
At 25 my husband has yet to 'experience' death, he has all his uncles, aunt, grandparents, immediate family, but that could be coming to an end very soon. His Grandfather (aka Grandaddy) has been recently moved to hospice care, and they don't think it will be very long (a few days, maybe a week). I am really concerned how Jonathan will handle this. I have seem him with a range of emotions, happy, frustrated, angry, disapointed, but sad is an emotion I haven't really seem (unless you count when I dumped him in the 9th grade).
I tried to pray for him yesterday, but at first I was lost at what to pray for. I didn't want to pray for Grandaddy to live because I know he's in pain, I didn't want to pray for him to 'go on to a better place' because I know how much that will hurt Jonathan, and Praying for Jonathan to 'get through it' just didn't seem appropriate either. I finally decided to pray that this experience brings him closer to God.
Through our relationship (the second time) Jonathan has always struggled with his relationship with God, while he definitely believes in 'him', he has never really had much beyond that. So hopefully my prayer will be answered, and something good will come out of this devastating experience for him. Fingers crossed!
The first time I really experienced Death I was in the 8th Grade, and I was there when my Uncle ultimately lost his 1 year battle with cancer. I remember withdrawing some from my friends, mainly because my boyfriend dumped me because I wasn't 'available'. I have experience death in my life a number of times since then, and have learned to deal with my emotions, and move on, going to the funeral itself always helps me to cope.
At 25 my husband has yet to 'experience' death, he has all his uncles, aunt, grandparents, immediate family, but that could be coming to an end very soon. His Grandfather (aka Grandaddy) has been recently moved to hospice care, and they don't think it will be very long (a few days, maybe a week). I am really concerned how Jonathan will handle this. I have seem him with a range of emotions, happy, frustrated, angry, disapointed, but sad is an emotion I haven't really seem (unless you count when I dumped him in the 9th grade).
I tried to pray for him yesterday, but at first I was lost at what to pray for. I didn't want to pray for Grandaddy to live because I know he's in pain, I didn't want to pray for him to 'go on to a better place' because I know how much that will hurt Jonathan, and Praying for Jonathan to 'get through it' just didn't seem appropriate either. I finally decided to pray that this experience brings him closer to God.
Through our relationship (the second time) Jonathan has always struggled with his relationship with God, while he definitely believes in 'him', he has never really had much beyond that. So hopefully my prayer will be answered, and something good will come out of this devastating experience for him. Fingers crossed!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Great Vacation...
So I just got back from vaca, and while it wasn't your tranditional vacation, it was truley amazing. I am having trouble keeping my eyes open and praying for 6 o'clock, but I would do it again every year if I get the chance.
I went on a mission trip with my church....as a chaperone, yikes! I got about 5 hours sleep every night for a week, but the way we were able to touch people lives made everything completely worth it. I definitely fell more in love with helping people, and want to make a concerted effort to listen to the path God has set-up for me, instead of deciding what I'm going to do, whether he likes it or not.
On the trip there were 4 of us "chaperones" that went on a mission trip together in high school, so it was really cool to remember the fun stories and experience we had together before, and how we were definitely not the 'good' kids then, so we knew what to look for :)
My group (Team Fuego!! Somebody call 911!) started off our trip at a Steve Forbes house. He was a disabled man, both physically and mentally. He had caved in front deck and large holes in his floor, all which he had to manuever with a walker. The first day at his house we rebuilt the deck, and the second day we laid new plywood and linoleum for his floors. He was also being taken advantage of by his 'friends' who were supposedly dealing drugs out of his house so we were very quick to call adult protective services to hopefully get him taken care of the way he should be.
On the third day I was shown a side of America I had only heard about in Movies and on TV. The house we went to visit in help was the home of Nanny Gray and her sister Adele. Both woman were well into their 80's, and their house looked like the abandon sheds you see on the side of the road. The wood boards on the outside of the house were completely at a loss for any kind of paint, and the tin roof was rusted. They did not allow us in the house, but from what we could see it was completely black, and very dirty. The woman themselves wore dirty rags for clothing. We had been sent there to deliver a large amount of firewood, cut down the weeds that had overgrown their front yard, and, probably the most important, build a rain barrell contraption outside their front door. These two 80 year old woman were walking down a steep path about a 1/4 of a mile from their home to a spring to get their water everyday. The house that they lived in was the house they were born in and it does not have water, and only limited electricity. To see people in this state, but yet still thanking God for all they have, was more than overwhelming. I will certainly remember them and the impact they had on my life, forever.
The fourth day of our trip was Sunday and the day of rest, we mainly hung out with the kids, went to church, and overall, just relaxed. It was nice.
The next day of our journey took us to a house that other groups were currently working on, but due to the condition of the house, would take even more people that were currently there to hopefully finish it before our week was up. At this house lived a couple who had lost the right to have their Grandchildren visit purely due to the horrible condition of their home. The focus at this house was to make it liveable again for their Grandchildren. While our group played a minor role in this entire project, repairing the front deck, it was great to know that we were a part of making a dream come true for these people.
On our last 'work' day we combined with Team 3 (Shark Bait) and became the Flaming Sharks (HeEeey!). It was a lot of fun because Amanda and John were on that team, and Amanda and I are good at delegating to the kids :) At this site we built a ramp for a woman who uses a walker to get around and has fallen down her stairs a few times. It felt good to know, she will not longer have to worry about that. We also used this day to pelt our kids with water balloons. Two adults ran around one side of the house and two ran around the other, so we definitely got them.
On Wednesday we drove back, and that was also our tubing today. While I ended up getting a little burnt, the tubing was a lot of fun, and it was great being attached to my young adult buddies for a couple hours in the water. We also went to the nicest Arby's I have ever seen in my life on the way home, big screen TV's, 6 ft totem poll, smoothie bar, and beer! Pretty amazing, and definitely a good end to a great trip!
I'm very excited for the friendships I have made with some of the kids, and looking forward to helping lead the highschoolers toward God in the fall.
I went on a mission trip with my church....as a chaperone, yikes! I got about 5 hours sleep every night for a week, but the way we were able to touch people lives made everything completely worth it. I definitely fell more in love with helping people, and want to make a concerted effort to listen to the path God has set-up for me, instead of deciding what I'm going to do, whether he likes it or not.
On the trip there were 4 of us "chaperones" that went on a mission trip together in high school, so it was really cool to remember the fun stories and experience we had together before, and how we were definitely not the 'good' kids then, so we knew what to look for :)
My group (Team Fuego!! Somebody call 911!) started off our trip at a Steve Forbes house. He was a disabled man, both physically and mentally. He had caved in front deck and large holes in his floor, all which he had to manuever with a walker. The first day at his house we rebuilt the deck, and the second day we laid new plywood and linoleum for his floors. He was also being taken advantage of by his 'friends' who were supposedly dealing drugs out of his house so we were very quick to call adult protective services to hopefully get him taken care of the way he should be.
On the third day I was shown a side of America I had only heard about in Movies and on TV. The house we went to visit in help was the home of Nanny Gray and her sister Adele. Both woman were well into their 80's, and their house looked like the abandon sheds you see on the side of the road. The wood boards on the outside of the house were completely at a loss for any kind of paint, and the tin roof was rusted. They did not allow us in the house, but from what we could see it was completely black, and very dirty. The woman themselves wore dirty rags for clothing. We had been sent there to deliver a large amount of firewood, cut down the weeds that had overgrown their front yard, and, probably the most important, build a rain barrell contraption outside their front door. These two 80 year old woman were walking down a steep path about a 1/4 of a mile from their home to a spring to get their water everyday. The house that they lived in was the house they were born in and it does not have water, and only limited electricity. To see people in this state, but yet still thanking God for all they have, was more than overwhelming. I will certainly remember them and the impact they had on my life, forever.
The fourth day of our trip was Sunday and the day of rest, we mainly hung out with the kids, went to church, and overall, just relaxed. It was nice.
The next day of our journey took us to a house that other groups were currently working on, but due to the condition of the house, would take even more people that were currently there to hopefully finish it before our week was up. At this house lived a couple who had lost the right to have their Grandchildren visit purely due to the horrible condition of their home. The focus at this house was to make it liveable again for their Grandchildren. While our group played a minor role in this entire project, repairing the front deck, it was great to know that we were a part of making a dream come true for these people.
On our last 'work' day we combined with Team 3 (Shark Bait) and became the Flaming Sharks (HeEeey!). It was a lot of fun because Amanda and John were on that team, and Amanda and I are good at delegating to the kids :) At this site we built a ramp for a woman who uses a walker to get around and has fallen down her stairs a few times. It felt good to know, she will not longer have to worry about that. We also used this day to pelt our kids with water balloons. Two adults ran around one side of the house and two ran around the other, so we definitely got them.
On Wednesday we drove back, and that was also our tubing today. While I ended up getting a little burnt, the tubing was a lot of fun, and it was great being attached to my young adult buddies for a couple hours in the water. We also went to the nicest Arby's I have ever seen in my life on the way home, big screen TV's, 6 ft totem poll, smoothie bar, and beer! Pretty amazing, and definitely a good end to a great trip!
I'm very excited for the friendships I have made with some of the kids, and looking forward to helping lead the highschoolers toward God in the fall.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
For Every Season...Change, Change, Change
Change is hard, whether good or bad, big change is never easy. There are always adjustments and adaptations to be made. I bring this up because we have had a big change (drum roll please)... Jonathan has quit his job with ADT, and is now full-time with ARF!
This is definitely a good thing, but nonetheless will be difficult. Jonathan has to get health insurance on his own, and we no longer have a 'standard' paycheck coming in from his side of the household. I know I will get used to this, but it still scares me, and I know next payday it will seem weird and intimidating to only have one direct deposit going in.
Another change that could be occuring, but is by no means set in stone, one of my closest friends and by far best shopping partner ever, could be interviewing and as result getting a job in North Carolina. This job would be a huge promotion for her, and would basically make all her professional dreams come true, but ultimately she would be leaving the area, and we could potentially grow apart.
It seems so selfish that in all the change going on in my life, I continually think about how the changes in my life will effect me, instead of the difficulty my friend or husband might be going through. Outwardly, I show my concern for them and their feelings, but inwardly my concern is protecting myself and the life I've built.
I feel like BIG change turns most people in selfish people, we feel like we have to concentrate on how the change will effect our lives and how we can prepare, and don't take the time to consider how that change will effect those around us.
I could be going through another big change in my life in the near future, but am not quite ready to talk openly about it on my blog, if it comes to pass, I'll let you know, otherwise, I will continue to ask for your prayers, and prayers for those around me, since I seem to be worrying much more about myself, than I am about them...
This is definitely a good thing, but nonetheless will be difficult. Jonathan has to get health insurance on his own, and we no longer have a 'standard' paycheck coming in from his side of the household. I know I will get used to this, but it still scares me, and I know next payday it will seem weird and intimidating to only have one direct deposit going in.
Another change that could be occuring, but is by no means set in stone, one of my closest friends and by far best shopping partner ever, could be interviewing and as result getting a job in North Carolina. This job would be a huge promotion for her, and would basically make all her professional dreams come true, but ultimately she would be leaving the area, and we could potentially grow apart.
It seems so selfish that in all the change going on in my life, I continually think about how the changes in my life will effect me, instead of the difficulty my friend or husband might be going through. Outwardly, I show my concern for them and their feelings, but inwardly my concern is protecting myself and the life I've built.
I feel like BIG change turns most people in selfish people, we feel like we have to concentrate on how the change will effect our lives and how we can prepare, and don't take the time to consider how that change will effect those around us.
I could be going through another big change in my life in the near future, but am not quite ready to talk openly about it on my blog, if it comes to pass, I'll let you know, otherwise, I will continue to ask for your prayers, and prayers for those around me, since I seem to be worrying much more about myself, than I am about them...
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